A few weeks ago, our family went through a great loss. For those of you who never had the chance to meet Sasa...you missed out. This dog was a dog like none other. She was loving, smart (when she chose to be so), quirky and above all, a ginger. Because she was, and always be, a part of our family, she deserves a few words to remember how her life brought happiness to all she met. To prelude this post, know that this may end being a short novel and I will in no way be offended if it is not read to its entirety. Instead, I think this blogger is getting these memories down on "paper" to soothe her own aching heart.
I know it's a little cliche when asked people say, "our dog chose us" but Sasa really did! She was one of many puppies in a litter of cute, squirmy and wrinkly vizslas. We played with all of them and thought we had decided when this gangly looking thing kept coming at us like, well...a puppy dog. Let me also point out that her name at the time her name was "Little T" due to the white T marking she had on her chest. What's the so special about that? My dad, Terry, has long been known as "Big T." Coincidence? I think not. Sasa (we thought was Hungarian for "princess" and turned out to mean nothing at all...joke's on us!) came home with us when she was 8 weeks old...it was Thanksgiving Eve, 2000. I vividly remember this because my sister and I were able to skip church that night to stay with the puppy in my dad's church office...thank you for small miracles via puppies. Mom and Dad, don't take this too seriously :)
Puppyhood in the Pletkovich household commenced. We all learned a lot those first several months. Some lessons I took away were:
1. It sucks to have to take your dog potty in a blizzard (we lived in Colorado at the time)
2. Dogs bred for hunting are not just smart. They are in your face, pay attention to me, I'll destroy your wardrobe if you ignore me, kind of smart.
3. A puppy learns quickly what buttons to push with you very early on. Who adopted who?
4. A dog gives you love freely, unrequited and unconditional.
Sasa soaked up training like a sponge which provided her the structure that her intelligent brain so desperately required. Our favorite trick she learned was to 'play dead' which included the drama of sticking both front legs up stiffly...think rigor mortis. A little messed up right now but just because she is gone now, I can't negletct to remember the laughter that occurred every single time she did this. She actually learned this trick from our neighbor's lab mix, Iggy, who befriended Sasa and taught her his guru ways of being a good dog. I credit Iggy for giving our dog a joyful and playful first few years and I can't help but think they are somewhere madly chasing each other in a grassy backyard or laying together by a warm fireplace as they so often did.
Insert funny memory...
When Sasa was about 2 years old, the lovely ladies from my mom's side of the family (Grandma Marlys, Auntie Mike and Aunt Nancy) visited from Minnesota. In this week long trip, Sasa managed to earn her first trip to the animal ER but slicing her foot open on the metal siding used to divide a grassy area from rocks. She was stitched, bandaged and forced to wear the cone of shame. One of my favorite things about my aunts visiting is the baking that ensues during their trip. This time around, my Auntie Mike was making her famous rolls (these things are world class!) and there was an unusually large amount of flour covering the kitchen. We all left for a short time and when we came back, Sasa was sitting on the couch, rocking her cone and COVERED in flour. She was a counter cruiser and this was our first proof of that.
Looking back at this time, I can't help but think that Sasa and I did a lot of growing up together. She was there when I was getting ready for my first prom, she watched me leave the house to go to my high school graduation and she always was ready to lend a paw when my teenage hormones left me a blubbering mess. Unconditional love, remember? It wasn't easy when my parents moved to Arizona and I made the decision to stay in Colorado. I knew I would miss Sasa (and my entire family) and it proved to be difficult. Flash forward to 2005 and here I am, moving to Mesa, AZ. All together again.
One of the most wonderful things I remember about Sasa is the bond she quickly formed with this cute security guard I worked with at Target. I figure that most dogs are good judges of character, especially when it comes to someone who can make such a big difference in our lives. Steve and Sasa were buddies through and through. She wiggled her little bottom every time he came in the door. She would sprawl across the two of us on the couch and settle in to watch a movie. When he would leave, Steve would instruct Sasa to go to her 'goodbye station' and she would go to the exact same spot on the stairs to get her farewell cuddles from her favorite bud. It's the little things. And I loved that my future husband was so thoughtful and caring toward this creature that was obviously so important to me. In the words of Immanuel Kant, "We can judge the heart of a man by his treatment of animals." Per this quote, Steve has a huge heart and I'm thankful for the time the three of us spent together.
Queue the vet bills. As many pure bred breeds do, Sasa began to have some fairly serious health issues in her older years. She battled Cushings disease for almost 5 years which required about four differenet medications a day which my mom dutifully gave her. In 2010, it was discovered that she had a tumor on her liver. Inoperable because it was so close to a major artery but not life threatening at this point, my parents made the decision to maintain her illness and let Sasa live out the time she had left. This was undoubdtely the right choice and I am grateful to them for giving us all almost another two years with her. When my mom called me at midnight three weeks ago, I knew something was not right. She said something was wrong with Sasa and I left immediately. We rushed her to the ER and to were told the news that we had been waiting to here for quite some time--Sasa's tumor was causing her to bleed internally. While she was seemilngly back to normal the next day, there was a heaviness weighing over our family knowing that the invetiable was finally knocking at the door. Eventually the damage would cause too much damage and we had no control over when or where that would happen. We all talked about it as a family and decided together that we would not be able to live with ourselves if something happened to her while we weren't at home...would she be scared? Would she be in pain? As painful as it was, those were not risks we were willing to take. Our family vet, Dr. Duplissis (you would be hard pressed to find a more compassionate person, both to animals and people alike) eased our doubts and agreed that after all this time, Sasa was ready to move on.
Sasa spent her last week with us living like a queen. Seriously, everything she had been previously been denied because of her health issues was thrown at her and her bottomless pit of a stomach. On the trip home from her vet visit, Sasa and my mom stopped for a burger at Carl's Jr. The next day, my mom's good friend Jackie brought a burger AND a milkshake from McDonalds. The following day, Auntie Erin brought her not one but two dog-friendly cupcakes from Sprinkles (the Rolls Royce of cupcakes.)
The last day we spent with Sasa is a day I will remember for the rest of my life. Another side effect of her health issues was she was unable to get her vaccinations due to her weakened immune system. This made is impossible for her to go to parks, play with dogs she didn't know and do many of the things she used to love so much. The only choice was to take her to a park and let her take in the scenery. She gawked at the ducks, made friends with a couple of little girls who sweetly asked if they could walk Sasa and lounged around like a typical dog. She loved it and so did we! After that, we headed to Sonic where she enjoyed a hot dog...don't judge, she deserved every bite :)
To say that evening was difficult is a massive understatement. I feel that while it's been healing for me to share all of this, some things need to remain private and the details of what transpired at the vet that evening will be something that will stay close to my heart. I will tell you that my Mom, Dad, Steve and myself spent a very emotional and grieving time together that I think was essential for us to say goodbye.
I think of her every day and it still stings when those memories come flooding back. But time heals all wounds and while there will always be a tiny hole in my heart where she used to be, I will marvel at the love and happiness she brought to our family.
You know how the time flies, only yesterday was the time of our lives. I love you, Sasa. Always in my heart.
